your parents love me but you hate me
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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