I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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