I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
