We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize