Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i now understand why vodka
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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