Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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