...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
