this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
