youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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