If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
