I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
