Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
