so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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