i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
