You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
