I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
