absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
