True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
