I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
