shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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