I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
