She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
