I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
