You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
