you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
