I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
