Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
