why didn't you poke me back
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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