Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
