Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
