Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
