people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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