yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
