Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
