Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
