Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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