Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
