Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He did a backflip because drugs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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