I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
