Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
