What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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