Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
