so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
