Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
