loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
