My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
