You made me cry and you don't even care
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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