I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
