wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
