and next time when you feel me up, do it right
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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