How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
